From Steele to "Silly Putty"

To: Michael Steele
National Chairman of the Republican Party (also known as the GOP: “Good Ole’ boys Party”)

Dear Mike,

My brotha, you can forget about Black people joining the Republican Party or coming over to the (no pun intended) “dark-side” of extreme right conservatism. It ain’t (sorry mom) gonna’ happen. Uh-uh. No way, no how. Not in this life or the next.

You can just bury that “dream” and say last rites! I think you know what I’m talking about. That’s right—it was that “punk” move you made apologizing to hard right conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh, who put the “smack down” on your bee-hind for (in his formerly drug addled mind) acting like an uppity “N.”

All you had to do my brotha—during your appearance on the (reportedly now defunct) CNN show hosted by comedian D.L. Hughley—was stand your ground, fire back at “ol’ chubs” and let him know that you’re the boss of the GOP and that he’s NOT.

You should have told Hughley what you said earlier: That Limbaugh is nothing more than an “entertainer” who appeals to the racist and intolerant gun toting, Bible huggin’ Looney Toons, and the corporate/Wall Street Dick Chaney types who have all the money and the power. They’d like nothing better than to turn the clock back to “Leave It To Beaver” time.

You should have told “Ole’ Rushbo” to stick to his shtick on the radio and leave the rebuilding of the tattered, bloodied and bruised “Party of Lincoln” to you!

You should have told Hughley and “retold” Rush that you’re the best hope to revive the party and make it more in tune and relevant to the vast majority of Americans who are either Liberal or a moderate conservative with an open mind.

But nooooooo, you had to buckle under the pressure of your “fellow Republicans” and issue that embarrassing apology for (rightfully in my opinion) calling out the “Maharushie” and telling him to “SHUT-UP! I’m the HNIC of this party!!!”

Hear that door slamming shut on your bee-hind Mikey? (Man your posterior is getting worn out!) That’s the “Hip-Hop” generation and other Black folks you said you’d go after and claim for the GOP.

They’ve slammed the door on you and any overtures you might have made to join you and the rather small number of “right-leaning” Black folks in the “Pachyderm party.”

You’ve obviously been living in the same world as a “brotha” here in Milwaukee (who recently did his “buck and wing” act on radio before a predominately white audience) for too long.

Because of that, you probably aren’t aware of the fact that your punk move has lost you what few “brownie points” (again, no pun intended) with SOME Black folks who were willing to listen to what you had to offer (even though they see you and your new position as nothing more than tokenism).

You may not want to hear this—let alone believe this—but Black folks in America see your “chairmanship” as nothing more than a tool for the Republicans to use when they want to criticize President Barack Obama and his policies without being called racists.

If there’s one thing we as Black folks can’t stand is someone who allows himself (whether he/she wants to admit it our not) to be punked in public or used as a political tool by the very people who don’t have our best interests at heart; especially if those very people are White and look, think and talk like Rush Limbaugh!

Oh nooo, brotha! That’s just not gonna’ fly!

I don’t blame that sista who’s on the Republican National Committee, Dr. Ada Fisher, for calling for your head. She obviously doesn’t want a punk heading her party either. She called the whole thing between you and Rush a “Republican horror show.”

Fisher, in an email to other committee members, went as far as to predict that the flap between you and that “lovable little fuzz ball” will dry up any money the party hopes to attract!

And if there’s one thing Republicans don’t like is to have their money messed with!

Yeah, yeah, I know Mike. Fisher isn’t exactly a fan of yours. That’s because she supported Katon Dawson, the chair of South Carolina GOP, one of your opponents for the national party’s leadership position.

But it seems you’re about to be introduced to a whole new horror show. You’re reportedly being investigated by the feds for campaign finance fraud during your 2006 senatorial campaign. And that’s on top of questions about the propriety of campaign payments to your sister’s now defunct investment company.

It’s hard for me to decide if you have more to fear from Rush and his “Ditto-heads” or the feds.

Well, whatever happens, don’t expect any Black folks to come to your rescue! Not goin’ to happen my brotha.

Now, maybe if you go on Rev. Al Sharpton’s national radio show and do a mia culpa and declare yourself “saved” and needing political asylum, you might get some help. You could hide out in the Radio One studios and Rev. Al can bring you rations from the Red Cross and get you some legal help through Amnesty International.

Sincerely,

A brotha (and recovering Black conservative and former Ditto-head) who has only this to say to you: “You made your (GOP/conservative) bed; now lie in it!

P.S.: And hope that “your Party” and “He who occupies the ‘Attila The Hun’ chair” (that’s Rush –as if you didn’t know) don’t try to suffocate you with a pillow!